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Others identify with the fear that isolates Elsa from those closest to them.\u00a0 Then most are surprised that true love, the laying of one\u2019s life down for another is what saves the day rather than the kiss of the good looking hero, Kristof. \u00a0The ability to relate to these characters is within each of us so much that one can take a quiz on the official\u00a0Disney’s Frozen web page<\/a>!<\/p>\n Giving up one\u2019s life for another is the ultimate display of true love, but it doesn\u2019t help to distinguish what love is in a day to day basis. In fact, it can be used as a distortion of \u201cselfless\u201d love or service with the motive to manipulate and control.\u00a0 So what does real love look like?<\/p>\n True love has no fear, but if we are honest, most are.\u00a0 Some have good reason to fear being controlled by another. \u00a0They’ve been controlled all their lives by their parents!<\/p>\n Others live in fear of being rejected and abandoned. Then there are those who dread hurt.\u00a0 There might be some like Elsa, fearful, that they could be the one who is responsible causing the problems. \u00a0Or one of the deepest fears held is being known for who we really are: broken people who need to be loved and forgiven over and over again!<\/p>\n Love does not compete. Competition has its place in business and in sports, but not in personal relationships.\u00a0 If one behaves in a win\/lose mentality in a relationship that implies that one is attracted to a loser.\u00a0 Think that through and soon you\u2019ll find both lose.<\/p>\n The competitive mentality lends itself to the next opposite character of love: domination.\u00a0 Some people seek control over others because they feel weak and insecure.\u00a0 It\u2019s their only means of power. \u00a0These are the bullies at school, in personal relationships, and in the work place exhibiting varying degrees of narcissistic traits<\/a>.<\/p>\n Some people control because of their fears.\u00a0 While the latter motive may be better intended, both drain the recipient and prevent both parties from enjoying the relationship. True love empowers because it entrusts and frees the other party.\u00a0 It never manipulates<\/a>\u00a0or controls<\/a>.<\/p>\n Insecurity is the common denominator that feeds fear, competition in relationships, and the need to control. How ironic and sad for these people who seek validation through ineffective means of looking to others when the answer lies in oneself.<\/p>\n Each individuals needs to take responsibility for his or her own happiness and well-being.\u00a0 Expecting others to do so sets the stage for a crazy cycle of co-dependency<\/a>\u00a0and unhealthy personal relations.<\/p>\n Genuine love encourages and builds up.\u00a0 Insecure competitive people seem to find ways to put others down in order to inadvertently lift themselves up.\u00a0 Television sit coms are full of sarcastic comments that leave one laughing at the expense of another.\u00a0 Love doesn\u2019t do that.\u00a0 Selfishness does.\u00a0 It\u2019s disguised as light heartedness and humor, but it\u2019s one sided at the other\u2019s loss.<\/p>\n Something else that love does not do is manipulate<\/a>\u00a0others through moodiness. Unfortunately some children learn to get their way by fussing and carry this on into adulthood. \u00a0In order to deal with this I wrote a song<\/p>\n