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<\/a><\/p>\nI trusted her to the life jacket, I was in no condition to help her.\u00a0 I could barely breathe from the shock of the cold water and my heart raced out of control.<\/p>\n
Thankfully,\u00a0 Lilly was able to handle the physical conditions better than me and applied her water safety rescue knowledge by swimming over to try to calm her while I had to roll onto my back to float for several very long minutes before I could catch my breath and start helping.\u00a0 But it was tough, knowing that I couldn’t help my daughter right now.\u00a0 I needed “to put on my air mask first” as they instruct for airline safety.\u00a0 \u00a0Lilly even\u00a0 had to remind me to float feet first instead of head first.\u00a0 I just wasn’t fully with it myself.<\/p>\n
I talked to her as I was able and encouraged her to relax and calm down.\u00a0 Until I swam to her she just couldn’t.\u00a0 She remained hysterical and was inconsolable.\u00a0 \u00a0I just prayed she wasn’t making it worse for the 13 others in the water.<\/p>\n
Thoughts raced through my head like, it’s a good thing you gave the car rental keys to the park ranger at Jacksonport State Park.\u00a0 I wonder if the credit cards will still work.\u00a0 Do I have enough cash if not?\u00a0 Did my phone stay in my pocket?\u00a0 Then I was able to breath well enough to swim to her and help Lilly kick her to shore.<\/p>\n
Larry scrambled \u00a0out a second earlier and was able to give us a hand crawling in the mud up the bank out of the water.\u00a0 I pulled out my phone it worked.\u00a0 I dialed 911, but just couldn’t answer their questions. I handed Larry the phone. Thank God he patiently waited through the poor signal for what seemed like an endless call.<\/p>\n
I wrapped my arms around my daughter to keep her warm.\u00a0 The living history wool jacket kept me warmer than I would have ever thought.\u00a0 So did my not so time period accurate corduroy pants.<\/p>\n
Others pulled together and started a fire while the rest went to help those that still needed help crawling up the bank.\u00a0 \u00a0The barn nearby was just too far to attempt to walk.\u00a0 I was grateful I paid that ridiculous amount for that new phone that did prove waterproof.<\/p>\n
I was confident that help would be coming soon, but my daughter still worried.\u00a0 \u00a0She finally sat down by herself in front of the fire and shared later that’s when she reached out to God and felt his closeness.<\/p>\n
Oil Trough’s First Responders,\u00a0 the Newark Fire Department, and the Independence County Sheriff\u2019s Department\u2019s Dive Team arrived shortly.\u00a0 We slid our way back down the north side of the river bank to their boats for them to ferry us across to the south side where warm ambulances awaited.\u00a0 They transported us to the community center where they provided warm blankets, a shower, dry clothes, and warm pizza.<\/p>\n
Folks started to report their losses, many of which were their wallets.\u00a0 One in particular ruminated over and over about how mad he was at himself for dropping his satchel with wallet.\u00a0 \u00a0Of course all were appreciative that all were ok, but the grief over the stuff losses started to pour in.<\/p>\n
One of our losses was a bag of essential oils that I use to keep my self well from an otherwise bad history of chronic sinusitis, migraines, and asthma.\u00a0 \u00a0I assured my daughter that we would be ok and that they could be replaced.\u00a0 I even sermonized while I drove that we ought not put our trust in great resources before God.\u00a0 It is Him we are to trust only.<\/p>\n
Then as she fell fast asleep I struggled to breath and panic struck me that my oils were out of reach and I must make it through the night without them and drive 3 states over to get home to secure more.<\/p>\n
It is five days later.\u00a0 Ed, some of the crew, and those volunteer emergency crews mentioned earlier have since returned to the site of disaster, towed the keel boat to shore, and recovered the bulk of \u00a0the items formerly dismissed as gone forever.\u00a0 So the losses amounted to much less than any anticipated. One commented that more patience was needed about the stuff. To me, that sounds like guilt and shame. We all did the best we could and responded the way we did. There’s no need \u00a0for regret, guilt, or shame.<\/p>\n
So what did we learn through this?\u00a0 First,\u00a0 panic does impede one’s ability to respond.\u00a0 I didn’t really like experiencing this from my only child, but the truth of it remains.\u00a0 She’s a great swimmer and problem solver, but could do nothing but further threaten the safety of the rest of us until we could calm her down.\u00a0 She lamented this later.\u00a0 I assured her that it wasn’t her fault.\u00a0 What happened to her as the cabin violently rolled to pin her into the water beneath it was a serious matter.\u00a0 She was processing that the life jacket in that instant could have hurt her by forcing her up in the water to be smacked and pinned by the boat making it impossible for her to dive under it to get away from it.\u00a0 She had to work through it and yelling it out hysterically in the water was her means to do so.<\/p>\n
Each have their own way to work through crisis. Most of us kept it quiet and focused on working \u00a0together. But the truth is we might have needed to scream like my daughter. \u00a0One bravely shared that her expression helped him to embrace what he felt while the swift current carried him along.<\/p>\n
Secondly, we all express fear, anxiety, and panic differently from one another. There is no “one size one fits all” description of what it looks like. Because of this, we may not easily identify the emotion and handle it properly. I began to panic when congestion impeded my ability to breathe and sleep at my friends. \u00a0But, I didn’t fully recognize this until later the next day.<\/p>\n
Thirdly, there are responses that help and those that hinder. Some are quick to quote glib responses like, “It could have been worse.” “It’s just stuff.” “Be a man.” “You survived.” “You look fine to me.” While these might have some truth to them it would be better to ask, “Do you want to talk about it?” and then patiently and respectfully listen.<\/p>\n
Refrain from super imposing your emotional reactions upon the sufferers. You can make it worse and magnify the trauma if you do. Or you could annoy them and discourage from processing the magnitude of what happened.<\/p>\n
Don’t be indifferent. Moving forward as if nothing happened is equally troubling and problematic. Cracking jokes and making light can insult and cut deeply. So what then is appropriate?\u00a0Be empathetic not indifferent or\u00a0sympathetic.<\/p>\n
That means acknowledging what happened without pity. Pity weakens. Empathy feels the pain and empowers one to deal with it.\u00a0\u00a0Allow the individuals involved in the crisis to express their emotions however they need and to tell their story when they’re ready too. Acknowledge the validity of all that they share. \u00a0Let them make light of it and crack jokes when they’re ready to and not before.<\/p>\n
I’m so grateful for\u00a0Oil Trough’s First Responders,\u00a0 the Newark Fire Department, and the Independence County Sheriff\u2019s Department\u2019s Dive Team how they helped and for Ed’s crew.\u00a0 \u00a0They set the tone to help make this a trauma that could be healed quickly for me and my daughter.<\/p>\n
For more information on the keel boat living history experience and inspiration visit one of the crew’s blog about his other times rowing with the Aux Arc at<\/p>\n
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